


the one where clarke and company try to not die

by makethisapride (thefaultofoursouls)



Category: The 100
Genre: A Lot of fluff in the later parts, F/F, F/M, I Do, I hate Finn and Pike so much, M/M, Some Humor, Tiny bit of Angst, but that is it, like I’m allergic now, like honestly, like in the last half of the first chap and first part of the second chap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 03:56:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14096691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefaultofoursouls/pseuds/makethisapride
Summary: Clarke blamed her shoes for everything that happened. Oh, and Raven, too. But most of the blame went on the high schooler who decided to go rogue and wander the campus with a bunch of other guys to pull the fire alarm.(Like, honestly, everyone hated classes. Especially sixth period. But pulling the fire alarm, really? Clarke’s homework and finals review had been drenched in water from the tiny overhead sprinklers and she was ready to strangle someone.)But that had should have been it. The boys should have been caught and suspended. End of story.At least, in a regular story. But this was a fiasco, a disaster, and somehow translated into Clarke, Raven, Octavia, Bellamy, John, Monty, and Anya and Lexa Woods going undercover to bust a drug cartel.(Don’t ask Clarke how - she’s still processing it all.)





	1. The Bad Fucking Beginning (The One Where Pike Is An Asshole)

Clarke really hated the fire alarm. Oh, and the overhead sprinklers too. Some doofus had decided to pull the alarm for the second time this week, and Clarke could only get more copies of her science finals review so many times.

  
In the seat beside her, Raven cussed loudly as she attempted to shove all her papers back into her binder.

  
“Detention today after school, Raven!” Mrs. Hurst called out, frowning, as she dialed a number (probably the office’s) into her telephone to probably complain for the fifth time this month about how “darn high schoolers are interrupting all the classes”.

  
Raven slumped in her seat and let out a strangled sound. “Clarke. I’m actually considering going into the deep end like Ma just so I don't have to put up with this bullshit for another three months.”

  
(“Make that two detentions, Miss Reyes!”)

  
Raven crossed her arms and mumbled about how their science teacher could go and do something anatomically unlikely with a test tube and the Athletics coach.

  
Despite herself, Clarke snorted.

  
(“I heard that!”)

  
“Hey, Raven,” Clarke asked, “I really don’t feel like going to seventh period for an hour on a Friday when Dad might be coming home.”

  
Raven paused her sulking, and grinned like the Cheshire Cat. “If you mean what I think you mean, Clarke -“

  
Clarke grinned back at her just as evilly.

  
Raven was really very smart when she wanted to be. And she also had many things up her sleeve. Like, literally.

  
She sneaked out something blue and something green in two separate jars - one of them smelled like sulfur.

  
And then her hands were a blur as she cackled evilly, and - were those flames? - Clarke was seriously regretting this decision. She literally realized a second before what Raven was doing - “Raven, no!”, and her shoes were on fire.

  
Clarke yelped as Raven started hollering at the teacher and slid the beaker across to the adjoined table quickly while trying to helped Clarke tug off her shoes.

  
Her feet were not burning, thankfully, but Clarke almost jumped three feet back and landed on something soft - a cushion, maybe - and sat there until the fire was put out. The class was silent.

  
And staring at her. Raven looked scared for once, and looked at Clarke with wide eyes and motioned behind her - and Clarke froze. She hoped the class wasn’t staring at her for the reason she thought they were. She turned around - and gulped.

  
They were staring for the reason she thought they were.

  
Crap.

  
She was sitting on Lexa Woods’ lap, and her girlfriend, Costia, was glaring daggers at Clarke from across the room.  
Lexa raised an eyebrow and Clarke tried to look anywhere but those hypnotic green eyes.

  
Really. Crap.

  
“Are you going to get off me?” Lexa said with a tinge of an accent, and Clarke wondered if it was possible to swoon and be doomed at the same time.

  
Quick fact about Lexa Woods: she was not to be messed with. There was a reason that the girls on the soccer team, Octavia included, called her the Commander at all times instead of just calling her Lexa like Costia or Anya and a few others did. She was not a regular captain. Legend had it that she’d transferred out of a military school, and worked for the Secret Service when she was sixteen.

  
Clarke didn’t know the exact reason she and nearly everyone else, including the principal, was afraid of Lexa, but she sure as heck didn’t wanted to find out.

  
She opened her mouth to apologize, and say that she would gladly get off, but what came out was, “Do you want me to?”  
Complete and utter silence.

  
Raven opened her mouth. And closed it.

  
Crap. Clarke was so dead.

  
“Uhhhhh,” she stuttered. “Sorry about that, I’m gonna go now,” she backed away, trying not to trip over her own two feet as she walked backwards, facing Lexa to make sure she didn’t attack Clarke from behind.

  
“What’s your name?” Lexa asked.

  
Clarke was going to get murdered in her sleep at night. Great.

  
“Um, Clarke Abigail Griffin, daughter of Abby Griffin and Jake Griffin,” she rambled, seeing Raven gape out of the corner of her eyes as she grabbed her chair and sat on it. She really hoped Lexa didn’t murder her at night in her own house. That would be embarrassing.

  
Lexa snorted. “I’m not going to kill you in your sleep, Clarke.”

 

Crap. She’d said that out loud. Great.

  
She stared at Lexa, and Lexa stared back at her, slowly turning red. Clarke was positive she was blushing, and crap was Costia going to kill her for this later, but she couldn’t look away - “Mrs. Hurst,” Costia said sweetly from where she was sitting, “Clarke looks a bit shaken and her foot might be burned. Would you like me to take her to the nurse?”

  
The teacher snapped out of her reverie (the old bat, thinking that Clarke about to get murdered by Lexa Woods was entertaining) and nodded. “Yes, Costia, you can take her to the nurse.”

  
Clarke closed her eyes in despair. Never mind Lexa, her girlfriend was going to kill Clarke. What a horrible day.

  
“Can I go too? My hand got burnt pulling her shoe off,” Raven interjected, seeing Clarke’s pitiful state.

  
“Whatever.”

  
(Maybe Mrs. Hurst wasn’t such a bat -)

  
“Fuck, my hand,” Raven complained, grabbing Clarke’s hand with her other one.

  
(“No uncouth language!”

  
“Go fuck your husband, Mrs. Hurst. Oh, wait, you can’t, because he divorced you. I wonder why.”

  
“This is not tolerable, Reyes! I will have to -“

  
“Speak to the principal. Yeah, yeah, I know.”)

  
The second the two of them stepped out of the classroom, Clarke regretted her life decisions up to this point.

  
She bumped right into a wildly running Finn, who stepped back for a second and looked at her and Raven. And then grinned.

  
She knew that grin. It meant trouble.

  
“I’m not the only one who did it, Anya!” he yelled out. “Raven Reyes and Clarke Griffin did it too!”

  
“Did what?” Clarke asked, but it was too late, because someone was grabbing her and putting Raven in handcuffs, and dragging them and Finn to the principal’s office - and Monty and Bell and John were next to her in handcuffs too - and her hands were in the same thing, a handcuff - and Anya and Lincoln Woods were in front her, dragging them all into the office.

  
“What’s happening here?” Bell asked no one in particular, but was met with no answer, as the door slammed shut after them, with Anya and Lincoln leaving them alone.

  
They all stared at one another.

  
“What have you done this time, Finn?” Raven asked, her voice tremulous.

  
Finn smirked. “Just told them you all were doing drugs with me. No one would believe whatever you will say against them by the way, Raven, since we all know your mom was a -“

  
Clarke saw red, and the next thing she knew, she was punching Finn repeatedly in the face with Bellamy bashing in his nose as well, and someone with green eyes was pulling her off him -

  
“Now, now, now, you delinquents. Settle down,” a new voice boomed in the room.

  
John turned around and paled. “Pike?!”

  
“The one and only. So here is the deal, okay? You all do drugs -“ nearly everyone in the room protested at that.

  
“The only reason all of us are here is because Finn cheated on Raven with Clarke and the rest of us helped her beat him up!” Monty yelled.

  
Pike grinned and clapped his hand even more excitedly. “Even better! An assault case! Now, listen up, you all! No one will believe a word you say, because we know of all of your situations! So here’s what you will do if you don’t want to go to jail - you’ll bring the whole situation in the state down by tonight, since the police can’t right now, and none of you are in any position to negotiate. Deal?”

  
Everyone was silent, and Clarke closed her eyes.

  
Knowing the power the police had over her, she couldn’t do a thing.

  
And neither could anyone else, unfortunately.

 

They knew it.

  
“Fine,” Bellamy choked out after a few moments. “Where do you need us to sign and what do you want us to do?”

  
It was useless to protest.

  
“Well, Bellamy, for starters, you can tell everyone else besides Finn, since he has immunity, to be prepared to bust a drug deal with Anya and Lexa Woods. I’m sure you know of Anya especially, Bellamy,” Pike replied.

  
Bellamy bowed his head, teardrops silently streaming down.

  
Clarke reached over and squeezed his hand gently. Then she looked directly at the cop.

  
“Fuck off, Pike. Where do you need us to sign?” 


	2. The Start of the Delinkru and A Grand Heist (The One Where Clarke Is Sure Raven and Bellamy Are Going to Get Murdered)

Clarke was ready to kill Pike.

He looked so smug, standing in the middle of the beige-walled room with his aviators and jacket, watching them all sign their names in red on papers, that Clarke actually wanted to throttle him.

They were all eighteen.

Bellamy had turned eighteen sometime in January, as far as he knew. That made him eligible to sign his name on paper. Even though he had a sister to look out for. Even though he wasn’t sure he wasn’t going to be going to jail for this.

Monty was the second oldest, born on February second. He grew up in a normal, healthy family. But he was broken inside, and he knew that he might be signing his name that led to him being killed or his family disowning him. When all he had ever wanted was to make them proud.

Clarke was born on February 27th. She was born to a normal family like Monty, and she was lucky. But then her dad left them for the army, and she tried to keep them all together, even when Abby tried to take her own life one time when she thought he was dead. She tried to keep her friends together, and she wasn’t about to let them all sink because of her mistakes. She had a life left to live. So did they. She had dreams, and they would not be shattered. Not for any reason.

Murphy wasn’t sure if he was eighteen or nineteen or twenty. He’d grown up in the system. They had given him a name. They had given him a month that he was born on. But he didn’t know if he was born in 1999 or 2000. He was probably the most broken of all of them, but he still didn’t shed a tear when signing a paper that may lead to his death.

Raven was the youngest of all of them. She had turned eighteen three days ago. What kind of late birthday present was this? All her life, she had worked hard. First to get away from her mother. Then to get away from Finn. She was brilliant, but she didn’t have money. She worked her butt off in shops, wore threadbare shirts that were two years old for one reason - to be the first in her family to get to college. She didn’t deserve this.

When they were done signing the papers, Pike swept them all up and ushered himself and Finn out the door while smiling a crocodile grin at them. “Tonight. Don’t be late, delinquents.”

The door slammed shut, a final decision.

There was no time to waste.

There was only time to act.

Everyone knew it.

Raven looked up sharply. “Ontari Queen.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes. “What about that witch who looks like a gingerbread man vomited her out after a rough night in a potato sack with a television?”

Murphy opened his mouth and closed it, shocked, Raven cackled like always, and Clarke tried to resist the urge to clap. It wasn’t the best insult ever, but one had to give points to Bellamy for being creative. And, in Clarke’s humble opinion, that creativity deserved a twenty out of ten solid points.

Monty snorted. “In all seriousness, though, Raven, what about her?”

“She and Finn used to be - close,” Raven grimaced.

“Why are we talking about that skinny stick of a man-boy who looks like a rat’s ass?”

“Bellamy?”

“Yes, Raven?” he asked, looking like an innocent angel.

“Not now.” He pouted.

“Anyway, as I was saying, back when Trikru and Titus still ran, she and Finn used to sell some stuff to people and Ma used to peddle with them too, sometimes. So she seems like a good person to -“

“Start off with,” Clarke finished, eyes gleaming. “Does she still go to Azgeda?”

Raven looked at her, awestruck. “You so get me, Griffin.”

“I know, right?” Clarke playfully teased back.

“I’m marrying you right now.” Raven bantered, rolling her eyes when she heard Bellamy not so subtly call them all gay messes while coughing, and Murphy gently chastising him, telling him that he couldn’t exactly talk because he was the of all of them when it came to taking Murphy out on dates.

Clarke was going to get out and get ready to go to Azgeda - except she couldn’t go anywhere.

None of them could.

Not without Anya and Lincoln, and honestly, it would be a miracle if Anya didn’t strangle Bellamy within two minutes.

Crap. This really was a dilemma.

She turned around, and Monty read her eyes.

He groaned. “Oh, gosh. Who’s gonna go tell Anya and Lincoln?”

Bellamy cowered behind Murphy in obvious fear. Monty did too. Raven shook her head violently, and Murphy squeaked.

Clarke threw her hands up in exasperation. “The things I do for you people. Raven, by the way, the wedding’s off,” she hedged as she marched out of the room, ignoring a very indignant cry.

Of course, with her luck, she bumped right into Lexa. Who was wearing th same badge Anya was.

 Her very, very crappy luck.

Lexa frowned when she saw her, and Clarke somehow knew she was going to get lectured, so she took her chance and bulldozed right over Lexa’s words. “Listen, two things. First off, none of us but Finn are drug addicts, second of all, we know where to start. Azgeda High. Ontari Queen. Also, please try to get Anya to not strangle Bell, please. He’s really gay, and his boyfriend would be devastated. His sister too.”

She finished her tirade, breathing heavily from talking so fast.

“Listen,” Lexa whispered, bending down a little so she could look Clarke in the eye,” I guessed none of you are guilty, but I can’t help it, because you already signed legal documents.”

Crap. This could have all been avoided. Fricking Pike.

Lexa actually looked kind, and soft, not at all the ruthless Commander people talked about and flinched at. “Second, we are coming undercover with the five of you. Third,” she snorted,” well, we’ll see.”

“Doubtful. I’ll press murder charges.”

“Sure you will, so-called delinquent.”

Clarke gasped fakely and put her hand over her heart. “Are you doubting my words, Miss Lexa Woods?”

Lexa laughed, high and clarion, and at this point Clarke couldn’t deny it anymore.

She had a huge crush on Lexa Woods.

Oh, well. Too bad she wasn’t single.

“Hey, Griffin! Commander! Are you two done flirting? We actually have a thing to do!” Raven gruffly called out from somewhere behind them both.

Lexa flushed and nodded gravely. “Right. We have a thing.” With that, she turned around very seriously - and promptly face planted into the wall right next to the door that led back into the room.

Clarke could predict how Raven Reyes would die - murdered by Lexa Woods, who was currently scowling, for laughing so hard she was rolling on the floor and wheezing, ignoring the two boys awkwardly trying to drag her back into the room as Anya and Lincoln Woods walked in.

She could also predict how Bellamy would die - death by Anya, judging by the girl’s blotchy red face.

She looked between Raven and Lexa, and Bellamy and Anya.

Raven and Bell really needed to start saving up money for their funerals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did something, i am just not sure what.   
> back to my hole of misery!  
> -arush

**Author's Note:**

> so now i will crawl back into a hole and die.  
> comments and kudos validate my existence.  
> tell me if this was crummy or if i should continue this.  
> -arush


End file.
